Becoming Shrink-Wrapped

Another day, another mind mapper

He tells me we're not here to go over

Every little detail of my history - relief

Washes over me just in time to hear

Him continue - no, what he wants

To do is help me discover who I am

Oh joy, oh thank you Jesus, I think

But don't say aloud; after all I do

Want to be released from this place

Of cages and experimental drugs

And doctors like this one someday

And sooner rather than later I hope

And sarcastic remarks don't aid

In that result usually ...

I allow my brain to slide into the zone

While this guy begins his spiel about

The ego, the id and the super-ego

I wonder vaguely if he's even glanced

At my file; taken into consideration

How long I've been at this game

Been in the so-called system

Or, noticed - and this I am sure not -

That I have some background in psychology;

I might know a little bit about the basics

I forget just where he is in his lecture

When I realize I can't stand another

Minute of this useless appointment

I sit up straighter - look him in the eyes

So intently he actually stops talking

Looks somewhat nervous - the silence

In the office is louder than rush-hour

Traffic; we are at a stalemate, glaring

At each other when I finally tell him

Flat out, "You do realize I am just

fucking crazy right?" He literally jumps

a bit; I mean, his whole body lifts off

the chair and back from the desk

before jarring back down - he still stares

"And you are something like my tenth

shrink?" I continue now that I have

his attention, I figure I might as well

Go for it - I can see he's trying to

Compose himself and decide to take

Pity on him - "Listen, I know you're just

trying to do your job and it's a thankless

crap job at that, but if you could just

please try not bull-shitting me -"

He has started shaking his head as if

to say, oh no, he wasn't --

"Doing the whole ego blah blah blah

routine on me is such old news ..."

I tell him; "I'm just saying, it's not

helpful. I will walk out of here and

try to get a day pass so I can get

to the High Level Bridge and leap off

 - you take my meaning?"

He has the good grace to blanche

His pasty white face growing whiter

than I would have believed possible

No shrink wants a suicide on their

record but an in-hospital offing?

On their watch? It doesn't bear thinking

about; I can practically read his mind

Shortly he sends me off with an aide

back to the ward still crazy, still unsolved

S.E.Ingraham©